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“Resentments are like swallowing poison and expecting the other people to die.”   – Dr. Drew Pinsky 

Holding on to resentment poisons our souls.  It stirs emotions which have only negative impact on our lives – anger, envy, bitterness.  And it blocks God’s powerful work of restoring relationships with those whom we resent. 

And yet somehow, we imagine that our resentment will hurt the other person rather than ourselves.  We take an “I’ll show them” kind of attitude, as if refeeling the hurt and anger again and again will somehow prove that we have been wronged.  We internalize the pain, which, rather than “getting back” at someone else, actually hurts ourselves and blocks the fruit of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, and kindness. 

From a purely psychological point of view, you might ask yourself “what do I get out of holding on to this pain?”  It may be a sense of superiority, thinking “Well, I’d never do something like that to someone.”  It may be a sense of power over the other, “I’m calling the shots in this relationship” – even if it means having no relationship.  Or holding on to the hurt may be an act of control “You can’t make me forgive you.” 

Reflect

If any of these thoughts ring a bell, could God meet those needs in healthier, life-giving ways?  Could you open your heart to God’s restoring power, bringing forgiveness, contentment and hope to your life rather than floundering in feelings of superiority, power, and control? 

Study

Ephesians 4:26, 31-32 

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. . . Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. 

Pray

Let us pray: 

Lord God, you are the great physician, able to heal all illness and suffering.  I call upon you to heal me from the sickness of resentment which, left to fester, will poison my life.  Remove from me all bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, slander and malice.  Heal me.  I pray in the name of the one who made the leper clean, Jesus Christ our Lord. 

Amen. 

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Tags: devotions, fasting, Lent, resentment